Are You Kidding Me?

I was rinsing off dishes to load the dishwasher, and I noticed that the hot water wasn't getting hot. In fact, it was colder than my soul. I checked the bathroom water, because somehow, that made sense to me. Nothing. Cold. Well, I supposed that my hot water heater was to blame, perhaps the pilot light went out (I don't even know if it has one). I'm not a plumbing mastermind, but I figured I'd go down into the basement to see what was up anyhow. Now, I haven't been down in my basement in about 5 years or so, as it's a Yankee basement, and it gives me the creeps. For all of you who don't know what a Yankee basement is, it's basically a big hole dug out from under the house after the house was built. Dude, a family of 6 could have been living down there, but I figured I'd chance my arm and check it out. I got down the steps, opened the door, and was welcomed by 5 inches of freakin' water. There were floating golf shoes, a 2"x4" that had drifted toward the door (probably trying to escape the Civil War ghosts haunting the place), and various other buoyant debris. All I could think was "are you kidding me? Are you friggin' kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?"...nobody answered, so I suppose nobody was kidding me. So Happy New Year! No hot water. Karma baby, it's a bitch.